I have a love/hate relationship with writing. I love to talk about it. I love to imagine myself doing it. I love to read about it. I love to plan to do it (when, where, how...). I love it in theory. And sometimes I love it in execution. But sometimes I hate it. No, hate isn't the right word. Sometimes I dread it. Not because it makes me unhappy or that I think I'm a poor writer. But I'm insecure in my talent and I'm afraid to face it head on. I can talk about writing to my friends and family all I want. But until I actually put fingers to keyboard and produce something, there is nothing to judge and therefore nothing to fear. But to have a completed manuscript in hand, it's concrete. My talent in black and white for all the world to
But despite the fear inducing panic that comes with the hope of one day living my dream of being a writer, I still can't imagine doing anything else. I still love to write. I still love to get lost in my own head and brainstorm new characters, new stories, new worlds. And I really do love sitting at the computer and letting life flow from my fingertips and getting lost in a story. I am an insecure woman by nature, but this is my passion. Writing is in my blood. I will face my fear and put all I have into this.
Well, this post took a turn. I had set out to share how excited I am that my joy is still outweighing the fear. I wanted to share the story of how I blew WAY too much money on frivolous office supplies at Target the other day all in the name of writing and creativity.
But more importantly, I wanted to share how many pages of said journal are filled already with various tidbits, ideas, quotes and topics for this blog. That's exciting. I've got a good 12 posts lined up already to keep this thing alive (which is far more than I could ever say for the myriad other blogs I've tried before). And best of all, I wanted to share that my muse is back. My main character and her story have been lodged in my brain all week. New ideas and story lines are percolating and I couldn't be more motivated to follow my passion despite the vulnerability that comes with that.
So there, I just did share all those things with you and set out to complete what was my original post. But I feel like I've also moved into post #3 territory which was to revolve around being brave, following through and actually sharing this with the world. But my little pep talk came earlier than expected and, I suppose, there's no time like the present. (And I may not feel this brave again the next time I sit down to write). So here goes nothing. I'm officially sharing my blog on Facebook. No more hiding behind anonymity and obscurity. I'm forcing myself into the spotlight. (Be gentle.)
|(Taken from here)|